'Iron Chef' lights anew this fallen foodie's fire - Continued

However, duty beckoned. Food Network is one of Seattle's top-rated cable channels.

The salient feature of "Iron Chef America: Battle of the Masters" is its international sense of skirmish. In four matches, airing at 10 tonight and Saturday and at 9 and 10 p.m. Sunday, the United States squares off against Japan. (Hors d'oeuvres lovers can watch a making-of special at 9 tonight.)

I popped in this evening's tape, which pairs Iron Chef champion Hiroyuki Sakai and Southwest master Bobby Flay. Future battles include Masaharu Morimoto versus Mario Batali and Wolfgang Puck, and a grand finale involving all the combatants.

At first, I could barely stand to look at the ingredients. A flopping trout proposed not the sweet, juicy promise of spring, but a simulated reprise of my gut-wrenching ride through unfriendly skies.

Gradually, though, the process began to seduce. Velvety cream, simmering cauldrons, sauce-stained fingers and mouths: the entire conjugation of arousal that separates man from the possums content with mere roadkill.

To put matters succinctly, it was porn and I was falling for it. Again.

In her new tome "Booty Food," Jacqui Malouf — best known as Flay's sidekick on Food Network's "Hot Off The Grill" — explores the link between meals and relationships. She gives recipes for all phases, from "the Marathon of Lust" to what to prepare when one of you gets sick.

"My only hope is that after spending some time with 'Booty Food,' you are inspired to leave the office behind for the night, grab someone you love, and get busy on the kitchen counter," writes Malouf.

Fine advice, to be sure. The contents are much better than the tacky title indicates.

But for those of us temporarily rendered inactive by a partner's out-of-town trip or toxic excess, there are shows like "Iron Chef." If food be the music of love, watch on.
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