'Iron Chef' lights anew this fallen foodie's fire - Continued

Masaharu Morimoto

For the uninitiated, Pepto-Bismol is not necessary. Food poisoning is its own cure. Your body pursues the simple course of discharging everything it's ever contained, possibly going back to 1978. Your soul is merely along for the ride.

Atkins, South Beach — ha. Try never wanting to get within smell distance of a meal again. Food poisoning is the "Clockwork Orange" of diets.

(Note: I know it can be serious. The last time I ate something that disagreed so violently, a friend phoned to warn that severe vomiting could trigger a heart attack. "Call if you need anything," she said cheerfully, then hung up.)

For a week after returning, work treated me like the ascetic I had become. The daily mail delivered programs about the Holy Grail, undertakers and British detectives. My stomach only lurched watching the news.

Then a press release from Food Network heralded a weekend-long series of "Iron Chef" specials, tape to follow.

My first urge was to ignore it for the nonthreatening "Plainsong," this Sunday's CBS Hallmark movie about a schoolteacher whose depressed wife has run away and whose two young sons befriend an eccentric spinster. Dinner appeared unlikely to play a role in the story line.

Besides, anyone interested in cooking already knows the "Iron Chef" series, which originated in Japan. Two renowned hash-slingers face off with the same ingredients and a limited span in which to create a panel-pleasing culinary triumph. The competition takes place in an atmosphere of pugilistic bravado and arch sporting references.

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